I have been ignoring my conscience when it comes to food and killing. I continually say that I am going to eat healthy but I never do it. I hit 238 pounds, I have bad bones and arthritis. My knee is bone on bone. Its completely senseless of me to be carrying so much weight. On top of this, I have a growing fear and awareness that our food system and ways have been severely compromised. Couple this with the fact that animal agriculture is one of the most destructive forces we have ever seen. The more I research the more I am convinced that I MUST downsize and eat with my conscience. I must base my meal around real live food of known origin. Its tough but not impossible.
I am craving and enjoying a "no death in the temple" approach to food. No Bones, no blood in my kitchen. As a hunter/fisher and gatherer, this approach to life seams diametrically opposed to my current lifestyle. Nonetheless, the command to my heart is no death in the temple and so by conscience I must follow where this leads. Mother Earth has been an extraordinary provider and the Lord has filled my cup to overflowing.
I want to be meek and humble and I want to give true thanksgiving. I have found that the last couple weeks have been difficult with me craving abundance and indulgence. The good thing, is I have found myself truly grateful for cabbage, and squash, and potatoes and carrots and apples and the glorious list goes on. Lentils, Beans, Rice...its all so good when you are hungry.
Heavenly Father thank you for your richest blessings and help me to be truly grateful and live like it.
Its time for a change for me. I carry too much weight and I have been carrying a growing burdon for my footprint on this earth. Who knows what the future holds and it comes a time to seek ones conscience. Images of death and destruction and slavery play heavy while my desire for truth and grace increases. I have decided there is no more death in the temple. There is only life love and gratitude, My conscience tells me to eat only nuts, fruits seeds and veggies. This is a personal choice and I pass no judgements on any one or anything other than myself and what I invite into my life
I had a very successful show at Roxy Coffee in Acton and I am very grateful to all who came.
My first show in 2013 at the Roxy was packed. I wanted this show to be even bigger and better. To insure that, I made professional posters and had then put around town. I advertised for months in advance and kept advertising until the last moment. I drove 6 hours full of hope and anticipation.The show began at 3pm and by 3:15 is was still sitting there alone. 15 minutes is a lot of time to pow wow with self. Its a humbling experience to see one's expectations dashed. I soul searched and refused to allow myself to carry disappointment and to remember those words...good things come in small packages. I had 10 guests arrive and we had an intimate time together. I feel so blessed and happy and I consider this show to be a resounding success.
I was taught that there is a special home for each and every creation, most especially when created in love. I know in my heart that its only a matter of time before my art reaches its rightful owner. There is such magic when this happens.
About a year ago, I was reunited with a friend who took an interest in my art. There was a particular piece of art that spoke to her and she knew it. She was so sure, she offered generously and I accepted. The problem was that I was on the tail end of a creativity cycle The image was not acceptable in quality and meant a redo. That beautiful and generous offer became a burden to me. It wasn't her fault. I wanted to provide but my inner self just wasn't right....so I wandered. I stopped doodling. I put down my creativity and I wandered in the forest for a year.
She isn't the only one I left hanging. Another friend had asked for a piece of my art. This art was already created and absolutely ready to give. I couldn't even muster up enough gumption to deliver that art. This added to my "depression". When I sat down to consider how many people I left hanging I felt shame and yet I felt right. I have come to accept that my creativity also has costs and burdons and I have chosen to only engage when the time is right. I dont feel like I am in charge of timing, I only respond to it.
In many ways, my show was a coming out party and a celebration. In particular, the show at Roxy was a success because I was finally able to fulfill my end of the bargain. It was so great to share in a smaller more intimate way.
Another highlight for me was there was an "unknown" lady who came to my show. She was taken by my art and the "influences" painting. It had very special meaning to her and we discussed that. I knew in my heart that this painting was for her. I also knew that she was not a wealthy or extravagant person. Finally she got the courage to say..I really love this painting but I cant afford it. I told her she would be welcome to take the painting and to pay me what and when she felt comfortable. Later that day she saw me on the street and offered me more than my conscience would allow. Bless her heart. She told me she thought hard about it and realized the value and came to the table with gratitude and generosity. She made my day. I took half of what she offered because I know she was giving with all her heart. It brought tears to my eyes.
I was once told that the definition of a "deal" is when both buyer and seller are happy.
So here it is.... I praise God and walk in Spirit and I leave all my burdens of expectation and personal gain in the hands of the One I trust. I have found that by letting go of self and embracing Spirit that I can live a very happy and rewarding life. Christos is a constant companion and that relationship is more precious than any gold. A path has been laid out for me and I simply walk that path knowing that I am the apple of the creators eye, that I am loved beyond measure and perfect in my imperfections.
I am so grateful for another successful show. Next stop Twiggs at Sturgeon Falls.
hahha...this has nothing to do with art but last sunday I went out to my ice shack to do some walleye fishing. The fishing was slow. My buddy had a tap on his line and then wham, my rod bent. I grabbed the rod and felt the fish and it was substantial. I told my buddy that I had a big fish and he began preparations to get it through the hole. Suddenly the fish ran and stripped lots of line. My buddy yelled....tighten your drag!!! I said IT IS!! I only have 6 pound test so I wasnt going to be able to horse this one. I finally got it to the hole and it was a very big Musky well over 4 feet. I manage to barely get its head in to our 10 inch hole. As it rose to the surface it saw us and split for another vigorous run. It was spectacular. I gave up on the thought of bringing that fish into our small ice hut. This fish was far too big and my hut is too small and it was out of season. I didnt want to hurt this fish. Just then it rapidly swam around and around the base of the hole and my line snapped. He won. I am glad.
I love fishing. I never get enough of it. I like dreaming about fishing and I like planning my trips in my head....my great big fish bucket list. I have been so blessed with my angling adventures....sometimes I have to pinch myself.
Trout Lake Lake Trout..haha
I always wanted to do a fly in fishing trip at a remote northern Lake and had the wonderful fortune of going to Cat Island on Trout Lake in Northwestern Ontario. It was everything I had ever dreamed of and more. It was so great it makes me want to fish more.
Smallmouth Bass on a Fly
I got all excited about catching fish on Fly Rod. I have been watching fishing shows on the World Fishing Network and I am all pumped and primes to catch as many species as possible on my fly rod. I dug out my fly fishing gear and went and replenished my fly tying kit, which hasnt seen the light of day in 25 years! I tied up a bunch of great patterns and gave them a whirl at camp this past weekend. I didnt manage to catch a Pike, which was my goal, however the Smallmouth Bass went nuts!!!! This wasnt even the biggest one. If you look closely you can see a bite mark scar. I want to catch the one that did that!
Hand Tied Neon Wolf
It didnt take too long to get back into the swing of things. I tied this as a little variation to the Royal Wolf and Lee Wolf patterns. This used to make the Trout go mental at the Trout club. I tied a bunch off wooly buggers for Bass and a Mouse and Streamers for the Pike. I may have to wait until spring or later in the fall for when the big boys come out to play.
Flyfishing Sand River Lake Superior
Did I mention I love fly fishing. On our way out to Nipigon, we stopped at a small river flowing into Lake Superior. I found this sweet spot, placed a perfect cast and wham!..fish on. It was just a small Rainbow but it satisfied my thirst for the hunt. We chowed down a nice fresh tomato sandwich and carried on towards our destination.......to go fishing...hahaha
I really enjoy how facebook can unite poeple of interests. I am a member of a local fishing group, a local musicians group and a local artists group as well as a member of our town group and a couple virtual garage sale groups.
I have noticed that there is a group of people that have to be part of everything. There are members of the fishing group whi clearly dont fish, There members of the musicians group that clealry dont play and instrument. There are members of the art group that have never even picked up a crayon. I wouldnt mind so much except those people who have never done these things are always self proclaimed cheer leaders, posting every type of inspirational msg they can find that may be only slightly related. Its like they use all these locations as a desk drawer or filing cabinet.,,,,,lets see,,,this one goes here...this one goes there. I say bless your heart...thankyou but no thank you. Close the laptop and go fishing...close the laptop and learn how to play an instrument and close the laptop and paint something.
There is also another group that I call the LIKE cheerleaders. They are the ones who like everything. I posted that I was looking for something and someone pressed like. Excuse me? If you know the answer then comment otherwise butt out. What...you like the fact that I am looking for something? I noticed on our town page as I scrolled through that there was one person who liked every post. Dont people have lives? Imagine the energy it takes to like everything......every single comment....holy frigg get a life you busy body.
Another thing that makes me laugh is someone postes something and then they press like. Just so you know, I only post things I like so pressing like again is just.........stupid.
Oh and another thing....you gotta wonder about the poeple who are posting selfies while driving their vehicles. OMG...have we all gone mad?....yes...and heres the picture of me just before my ass went through my face on the way to the windshield.
Jim Oskineegish is a top notch woodland artist and it was my honor and privilege to do a collaborative piece with him. Since we are 5 hours apart, Jim suggested we get together, draw the work out and then return home to finish the pieces. We purposely did not discuss our color choices and sought divine intervention. On June 8, 2014 I drove to Ottawa and we united our panels. Jim treated me to a steak dinner and afterward we jammed in JIm's music studio. Jim was gracious to allow me to have the finished works and they are proudly displayed in my living room. I am grateful.
Here is a link to Jim's Art Website